Archive for December 2007

friday’s hot chick

December 7, 2007

Lacey Chabert, the hottest cast member of ‘Mean Girls’. And ‘Party of Five’ (even though she wasn’t hot when she was on the show, she certainly has passed Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt by.)

  • All of these pictures are going to be cutesy/sexy.
  • I think its because she’s religious or something.
  • She must know God personally if He gave her all this.
  • Lacey is of age, right?
  • Here is one with the other members of the ‘Mean Girls’ cast. Is it possible Rachel McAdams is the least hot one of the four? Yes, it is.

Is it also possible that of the four girls mentioned above, only one is anywhere near my age?

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HHY Week 14 picks

December 6, 2007

I’ve had three straight poor weeks, dipping me below .500 for the first time.

Season: 89-92-11

Chicago (+3) over Washington
Dallas (-10.5) over Detroit
Jacksonville (-10.5) over Carolina
San Diego (pk) over Tennessee
Green Bay (-10) over Oakland
NY Giants (+3) over Philadelphia
Cincinnati (-6) over St. Louis
Tampa Bay (-3) over Houston
Buffalo (-7) over Miami
Minnesota (-7) over San Francisco
Arizona (+6.5) over Seattle
Cleveland (-3.5) over NY Jets
Kansas City (+6.5) over Denver
Pittsburgh (+13) over New England
Indianapolis (-9.5) over Baltimore
Atlanta (+5) over New Orleans

some mid-week observations

December 5, 2007

So, here is what is on my mind at this moment, sports-wise. (I have other things on my mind, but you really, really don’t want to go there, my friend.)

The White Sox off-season ‘struggles’: So, today on talk radio and in the papers, White Sox GM Kenny Williams is getting killed because the team’s two biggest off-season targets, Torii Hunter and Miguel Cabrera, were snatched away by American League rivals, including the division rival Tigers grabbing the awesome 24-year old third baseman/outfielder/professional hitter and pitcher Dontrelle Willis yesterday for a boatload of prospects. Critics say that Kenny has failed as a general manager and that he has done a poor job since the 2005 title. People want him out of town. Fans are throwing moltov cocktails through the already broken windows of the neighboring buildings around Comiskey part II.

Folks, lets break this down. The LA Angels spent a shitload of money for Torii Hunter. No one thought they were in the market for the centerfielder, it seemed to be between the Sox and Texas, and suddenly the Angels came out of nowhere and offered an additional year and 15 million more dollars a year. Reportedly, Hunter accepted the deal well before the Sox even had a chance to react. So what, exactly, did Williams do wrong here? He offered the player a more than generous and fair offer. It seemed Hunter was thrilled with the Sox and the city of Chicago, and it was a foregone conclusion that he would be roaming the outfield at the Cell for the next few years. Then, a team comes out of nowhere with a crazy deal which is too long and too expensive and the player accepts it. How exactly is Torii Hunter ending up in Anaheim a result of Kenny failing as a general manager?

So, lets go to the next issue: Miguel Cabrera. It was reported that the Sox were one of the two major teams in pursuit for the guy, along with the Detroit Tigers. The Marlins wanted a bunch of prospects, and if possible, wanted the team they were dealing with to also take Dontrelle Willis and his huge contract off their hands. In the end, the Tigers offered a solid package which included their top pitching and position player prospects and four other players. There was no way the White Sox could match this offer. So, Cabrera goes to Detroit. So, lets get this straight: Its Kenny’s fault that his organization doesn’t have a pitching prospect the caliber of Andrew Miller, a hitting prospect the quality of Cameron Maybin, and four other decent to solid young players. He was somehow supposed to force to make the Marlins take a lesser deal.

Sure, some might argue that its Kenny’s fault that the Sox’ minor league system didn’t have the assets to compete with the Tigers. Well, the two keys to the deal–Miller and Maybin–were drafted in the top 10 in 2005 and 2006. The reason the Tigers had those guys in their system? BECAUSE THEIR TEAM SUCKED DURING THE SAME YEAR(S) THAT THE WHITE SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!! So, would we rather have the high draftees which ultimately bring a great young hitter in 2007, or a World Championship?

People, Kenny Williams was doubted by everyone in this town for the majority of his deals he’s made. Remember in 2004 when everyone hated his moves? How did they look in October of the following year? I’m not saying that this is all part of a master plan which will curry a title next season. What I am saying is that Williams should be granted plenty of leeway since he has built a title winner and plenty of other teams which contended well into September. He’s aggressive and will not allow this team to step onto the field in April without making more moves. Relax.

Fantasy football playoffs: So, the playoffs start this week in my major league. This league is worth a shitload of cash if I win three more games. My team is stacked, but as is the case with all fantasy football teams, that shit doesn’t matter because anyone can blow up like a suicide bomber in a given week.

This week, I have two lineup dilemmas. I know what I am going to do, but I’d like to put em out there to see what others think. First, at running back I am very deep, but the guy I want to start–Marshawn Lynch–may be a game-time decision. So that leaves me Edgerrin James and Ryan Grant. At first glance, to the untrained eye, it would seem James is the obvious choice. But Grant has been absolute beast the last four weeks, including three games of 19 or more points. Also, the Packers are playing the Raiders–the 30th ranked run defense in the league. Finally, Brett Favre is sure to be banged up after his injury Thursday. So perhaps the Pack relies on the run a little more than usual. So that is why I am going with Grant over Edge.

My other problem is at the wide receiver slot. I have to start three of the following four: Braylon Edwards, Chad Johnson, Andre Johnson, and Wes Welker. I am leaning towards the first three, obviously, but part of me really wants to start Welker against the Steelers. I have a sneaking suspicion that he will explode–sexually and fantasy wise–as Pittsburgh focuses on Randy Moss.

What do you mark-ass marks think?

week 13 roundup

December 3, 2007

Before we get to Sunday’s games, I’ll just say one thing: the Thursday Green Bay-Dallas game did nothing for me. Although the Cowboys probably sewed up home field advantage with the win, I’m no less sure of who would win in a playoff game between the two than I was a week ago. If the Packers weren’t starting absolute scrubs in the secondary and playing Aaron Rodgers from the beginning of the second quarter on, who knows how it would have gone.

Oh, and one more thing: to all those BCS-defenders who say that college football is special because every week is like a playoff…….go fuck yourself. Hawaii is undefeated. LSU lost twice. So of course, LSU is in the championship game. (I’m not claiming Hawaii would beat LSU head to head, and I honestly believe that the Tigers are one of the two best teams in the country–but the top 8 or 16 teams deserve a chance to decide it on the field this year, if not every year. This year proved that anyone can truly beat anyone.)

Carolina 31, San Francisco 14–Yeah, I’m starting with the most important game of the day. A lot of things have become apparent during this 2007 NFL season: Adrian Peterson is a beast; the Patriots are pretty good; Brett Favre is still alive; and whenever the Vinny Testaverde-Dante Rosario combination gets hot, the rest of the league better step up their game.

Tennessee 28, Houston 20–These two teams make me angry, and I’m not even a fan of them. If the Titans take the last AFC playoff spot away from the ECUM Browns, and I have to watch their boring asses against Pittsburgh in the Wild Card round, I’m gonna punch my wife in the face. Or beg her for sex instead of watching the game. One of the two. Meanwhile, two weeks ago, the Texans were my new favorite team, a little-talked-about ragtag bunch of studs who could make people nervous down the stretch. Instead, they’ve shit down their legs two weeks running and now Matt Schaub is hurt. Can Sage Rosenfels lead the Texans to an exciting and competitive last month? Absolutely, this is the NFL! No, what a stupid fucking question.

Indianapolis 28, Jacksonville 25–I would of liked to watch this game, except I was pregaming before going to the Bears-Giants tussle. From what I saw on the highlights, the game turned out exactly how 99 percent of us thought: the seven-point spread was way too high, however, the Colts would step up their game at home in an important week. Oh, and the Jags would play tough. After the game, David Garrard–angry that he threw his first interception of the season–dropkicked Fred Taylor’s face with his cleated feet. Just because.

San Diego 24, Kansas City 10–LT went off, the Chiefs are officially dead, and Jared Allen proved to be the best pass-catching defensive end in KC since…….the invention of the forward pass. Seriously, that was a sick catch for a 280-pound defensive end. Also, Philip Rivers continued to show just how overrated he is by going 10-for-21 and 157 yards with a touchdown and interception.

St. Louis 28, Atlanta 16–Instead of playing this game, they should have just had Madden 08 playing on the dome jumbotron. Just play a computer simulation on the big screen, with the score and all the stats counting for real. That would be infinitely more exciting. Imagine Steven Jackson jumping up and down in street clothes as video Steven Jackson broke a 79 yard touchdown run. Deangelo Hall yelling at his teammates after the corner’s video doppleganger gets a pass intereference call. I’m in.

NY Jets 40, Miami 13–Well, this was the game the Dolphins were supposed to win, right? Its not looking good for the ole boys from south Florida. Its a shame, too. I mean, it would really be sad if the Dolphins went winless in the same season that the Patriots went 19-0, thus erasing whatever was left of the 72 Dolphins’ relevance–and replacing the Dolphins’ franchise’s top claim with the league’s worst season. And by ‘sad’, I mean awesomer than winning the lottery while watching your favorite team win the World Series.

Minnesota 42, Detroit 10–Purple Jesus. Purple Jesus. Purple Jesus. I mean…..wow. What can be said? He’s the best. I know LT went for 170 and two scores. But All Day/Purple Jesus just absolutely kills people. The cutback on his first touchdown and the juke in the hole on his second are two of the best moves I’ve seen all season, and he did them both in a span of like 45 minutes. Christ, he might go for 500 yards on 12/17 against the Bears.

Seattle 28, Philadelphia 24–Based on the highlights, it seems as if this was a pretty entertaining game. Both of these teams are pretty cute and fun to watch, like Hayden Panettiere. But in the end, they aren’t going to make any noise…..unlike Hayden Panettiere. ZING! Anyway, Brian Westbrook is a monster, maybe the third best running back in the game (Purple Jesus, LT) but with A.J. Feeley behind center, the Eagles don’t have a chance. Mostly because apparently Feeley has some sort of blindness where he doesn’t see Hawaiian linebackers. Or Fijian. Or something. Where is Lofa Tatupu from? Wherever he’s from, he had three picks.

Buffalo 17, Washington 16–Lot of emotion at FedEx Field (Thats the name of the stadium, right? It should still be RFK), but it wasn’t enough as the Bills pull out the win. I’ve talked about Joe Gibbs’ horrid coaching this season in numerous other weekly roundups, but yesterday it really looked as if the game has passed him by. Not only because of the timeout thing, but because you absolutely have to beat a Marshawn Lynch-less Buffalo team at home in a must-win, even with all of those distractions.

Arizona 27, Cleveland 21–OK, lets make this clear: that play at the end of the game, the Kellen Winslow non-catch……that was a catch. But the officials didn’t want to make that call against the home team at the end of the game. Since his feet landed out of bounds, its really easy to make the incomplete call. But Winslow was jacked in the back by a Cardinals defender–before the ball got there by the way, so that should have been pass interference–and caught the ball, landing about two yards out of bounds. If that second guy didn’t hit Winslow, thats a score. Fuck you refs; you will feel the wrath of ECUM for screwing our adopted team. FEEL THE WRATH.

Oakland 34, Denver 20–The Bears might suck and are definitely not making the playoffs, but at least we know we ruined the Broncos’ season last week. How the fuck do you lose a must win to the Raiders? How do you give up 34 points to Oakland? The Bears and Devin Hester must have made them lose all confidence in themselves. That is the only explanation. Other than the Broncos suck.

Tampa Bay 27, New Orleans 23–I mean, its the NFC South. Whats the point? Instead, I’m going to write about a question that has been plaguing me for the last few days. Vera Farmiga, the chick in ‘The Departed’…..is she hot? I mean, in ‘The Departed’, she was really pretty, and I’ve seen her in pictures looking stunning. (Yes, ‘stunning’. And no, I’m not a 58-year old fashion designer). In ‘Running Scared’ with the ever-talented Paul Walker, she has a scene at the beginning of the movie that is pretty damn hot. Her ass looks damn good in the thing. But then there are other times when she looks really unattractive. I saw her on Conan wearing what appeared to be a doilie. And sometimes her hair is ridiculous. So I don’t know. Oh, and Earnest Graham is an underrated beast, and I told you so in my ‘How many running backs are better than Cedric Benson’ column from a few months ago.

NY Giants 21, Chicago 16–If nothing else, this Bears season has shown me that the whole team–not just the offense–suffers if the offensive line is bad. I defy you to show me a Super Bowl champion with an offensive line that is worse than ‘better than average.’ And the Bears’ line stopped being ‘better than average’ last year. They have no running game and no protection in the passing game. If major improvements aren’t made to the line in the offseason, this team will continue to hover around 6-10, 7-9, 8-8.

Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 10–It rained again, and the Steelers beat the Bengals, who have to be the dumbest fucking team in the league. Thats all I gathered from watching this shitfest. That, and the Steelers are going to get pounded by New England next week.