Archive for the ‘Bill Simmons’ category


March 5, 2008

Lets take a trip over to Bill Simmons’ new “mailbag” (in which–this week–he answers his own questions). Here’s one:

Q: Are you crazy? Seriously, are you crazy? Did you just advocate in a column on the biggest sports Web site that Seattle fans should pick a home game, then agree collectively to walk onto the court in a nonviolent, nonaggressive protest between the third and fourth quarters? Do you realize that one drunk fan could start a riot by shoving a security guard or something? Do you realize how scared the players would be? Do you realize how much security we’d need to have there? Call this off or I’m sending Bennett Salvatore and Bob Delaney to your house to rough you up. I mean it. Call it off. Don’t test me unless you want to wake up with Rajon Rondo’s head in your bed.
–D.S., New York City

SG: In all seriousness, the more I’m thinking about it, too many things could go wrong with hundreds of Sonics fans walking onto the court during an NBA game. Even if one fan screwed the whole thing up, that would defeat the purpose of the protest and potentially hurt the cause. It’s just too risky.

First, let me first give Bill a lot of kudos for coming out immediately and admitting this wasn’t his best idea. Second, I truly admire that he continues to be one of the few national media members to shine a light on one of the biggest injustices on a fanbase in sports history. Finally, unlike some other blog writers, I believe Simmons is still entertaining, especially since he is now somewhat removed from the Red Sox and Patriots.

But the real point of this post is to say ‘Ha’ and ‘Go fuck yourself’ to all those first-time commenters who disagreed with my assessment of Simmons’ plan as idiotic and highly irresponsible in this post. I was even called a hack and was accused of simply writing about this topic (Simmons) to stir up traffic on my site. Yes, that was my plan. In the 6 months I’ve been writing this blog, that was the first time I have mentioned Simmons. Then, one day, I decided that I would rip into an established columnist just so I could get some hits on a website I work on for five hours a week, max. Clearly a plea for stirring traffic.

(Besides, my plan for stirring up traffic was submitting the link to Deadspin. And they linked to it!!! So suck on that, haters!)

Awesome Plan, Simmons

February 29, 2008

While writing about the pending hijack of the Seattle SuperSonics by new owner Clay Bennett, ESPN’s Bill Simmons has published numbers and numbers of emails from frustrated (and rightly so) Sonics fans.

Today, Simmons tried to offer solutions or ideas for Sonics fans to retailiate against Bennett and the NBA:

Anyway, as soon as the third quarter ends for one of Seattle’s upcoming home games, the Sonics fans should simply leave their seats and walk onto the court. Don’t be violent, don’t antagonize anyone … just walk onto the court en masse, and as soon as the court is filled with people, start chanting, “SAVE OUR SONICS!” for 10 minutes straight. Assuming you had 3,000-4,000 people stroll onto the court, there’s no possible way they could arrest everyone, and if they called the game, who cares? You were probably losing the game, anyway. The crucial thing to remember is that it should be done as non-aggressively as possible; the rest of the nation won’t be sympathetic to your cause if you act like jerks. And you shouldn’t chant anything like “BENNETT SUCKS!” or “STERN SUCKS!” You want everything to be as simple and benevolent as possible.

If you could pull this stunt off in a dignified way, it could be incredibly effective and raise the right amount of national awareness for this issue. (In fact, it would be the dominant story of that week and make the sports radio/talk show rotation.) I’m not going to pick the game for you, but I will say that you should pick a Sunday, Monday or Tuesday game so the story (and the highlights) can get national attention for the rest of the work week. Remember, carry yourselves with dignity and don’t act like jerks.

Yes, Bill, a plan where approximately 4,000 fans walk onto the court during a timeout during an NBA game couldn’t possibly go wrong. Yes, be sure to point out numerous times during your column that the fans shouldn’t “act like jerks” and should “act dignified.” Because three-quarters through a NBA game, the fans aren’t at all drunk and can be trusted to act in a civilized manner.

Bill, I understand your frustration at this situation. But asking that thousands of people charge the playing surface of a professional sporting event is asking for trouble and is, for lack of a better term, dumb. Just a few years ago the Palace of Auburn Hills was the setting for a massive brawl between players and fans. Now you want thousands of fans to take the court, and you think that you can count on the fact that out of all those angry, frustrated, and possibly intoxicated spectators, not one will fight a cop, or push another spectator, or perhaps something worse?

Bill, you’re one of my favorite writers, and while I’ve felt you’ve severely ‘lost your fastball’ over the past 6-12 months, the passage I read today was by far your most idiotic of your career. And perhaps more importantly, it was irresponsible.