Oh, what excitement. The 2007 postseason is upon us, and for the White Sox and Cardinal fans who write this site, it really couldn’t be better than to see the Cubs in the postseason. Outside of watching our teams battle for (another) title, the next best thing is to see how in the world the Cubs will choke this year.
Ah, I’m just playing, Cub fans. I won’t be cheering against you; in fact, I would love to actually see what would happen in this city if the Cubs won. Would the city implode? Mass orgies on Waveland? Dogs and cats living together? Who knows.
But will it happen? Can the Cubs overcome the hilariously exciting and ridiculous National League playoffs? Here’s a breakdown of the four first round series, complete with predictions that are sure to…….be not right. (Ha! I’m original!):
Cubs vs. Diamondbacks: It seems to me that this series could be decided by the end of Game 1. If the Cubbies can find a way to beat Brandon Webb, the D-Backs don’t have much of a chance to get back to Arizona for a chance to win the series in 5. They surely won’t win three in a row if they lose Game 1. After Webb, Doug Davis, Livan Hernandez and Micah Owings figure to face Ted Lilly, Rich Hill and Zambrano on the turn around. Those are ugly matchups for the D-Backs. I see Webb pulling off a close win in Game 1 over Zambrano, maybe a 2-1 type score. I then see the Cubs rattling off three straight, clinching the series in 4 with a weekend win at Wrigley, even if Arizona brings Webb back to start an elimination game. Cubs 3 games to 1.
Phillies vs. Rockies: Did you guys watch the Rockies-Padres game last night? Did you see the fat douchebag who had his little rat dog sitting on his lap behind home plate? How do you get a dog in the park? Why bring a dog? How does anyone who would bring a dog to a baseball game get seats in the first row behind the plate? It totally flabbergasted me throughout the game. Anyway, all signs point to the Phillies dominating this series. They can match the Rockies’ offensive output, and they have far superior starting pitching. The Rockies are the hottest team in baseball, but the Phils might be a close second. There is really nothing that shows me that the Phillies should lose more than one game in this series. That’s why I’m picking Colorado. What I saw last night was something I haven’t seen out of any other team in these playoffs, at least to this point: baseball magic. Down 2 runs in the 13th against Trevor Hoffman? Double, double, triple, walk, sac fly, we win. Wow. Look for Matt Holliday to show all casual fans that he is rightful winner of the 2007 NL MVP in a close race over the Phillies’ Jimmy Rollins. Rockies 3 games to 2.
Red Sox vs. Angels: As much as I like the idea that the Angels are playing ‘National League baseball’ in the American League, I just don’t see how they match up in any way with Boston. Unless John Lackey can beat Josh Beckett twice in this series, the Halos don’t stand a chance. Vlad Guerrero’s October collapses will continue, and the Red Sox will cruise to an easy sweep of Anaheim (not LA Angels of Anaheim, that shits dumb). Red Sox 3 games to none.
New York vs. Cleveland: As an AL Central guy, I thought in March that the Indians were the team to beat in the division, and they proved me right. But they did it a bit differently than I thought. While Travis Hafner didn’t have his usual scary offensive season, Fausto Carmona came out of nowhere and gave the Tribe an awesome 1-2 punch in the rotation. Meanwhile, while everyone decided the Yankees were done in June, I warned fellow fans that the Yankees do this shit every year: they suck for like 2 or 3 months, then Torre and the boys make the necessary roster adjustments, their lineup gets hot and they make the playoffs. Since I’ve been right about these teams all year, believe me when I say that the Indians will beat the Yankees. The Yankees are the sexier pick, and the media will hope and plead for a Red Sox-Yanks ALCS. But even the New York lineup won’t beat Carmona and Sabathia 3 times in 4 starts. Indians 3 games to 1.
So there it is. Cubs-Rockies and Red Sox-Indians. So be sure to look for Diamondbacks-Phillies and Angels-Yankees.