Archive for the ‘friday hottie’ category

Friday Hot Chick

January 11, 2008

This week, I’ve already given you my hot chick top 20 and a random picture of Sarah Shahi. I shouldn’t have to come up with a Friday Hottie. However, I need a break from work and I figured there was no better way to waste 20 minutes than to pick out 5 solid Jennifer Love Hewitt pictures.

JLH recently has some rather unflattering pictures taken of her at the beach. Lets just say, as an ass man, I should be the last one to be turned off by a big butt. But these pics highlighted the bad side of some big asses. It seems that Love is more wide than full. And there were some dings and dents that, while normal on 80 percent of women, are not especially attractive.

That being said, there is no doubt that Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot as shit, has one of Hollywood’s best racks, and is an infinitely talented decent mediocre at best actress.

Here she is at some award show.

I love black bras.

Black and white. Cool. Lets class up this joint a bit.


Oh, just do Playboy already.

She looks weird here, but what the hell.

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fridays hot chick

January 4, 2008

Sofia Vergara. Enough said.

fridays hot chick

December 28, 2007

I had a hard time choosing today’s hottie. I try not to choose someone too obvious or someone I have mentioned in other articles.

I’ve been watching a lot of ‘King of Queens’ reruns lately. And Leah Remini was pretty hot. Then she gained a lot of weight because she got pregnant, and she wasn’t very hot. But after she had the baby, there was a period there were her boobs were fucking huge but the rest of the weight was pretty much gone. That was sweet.

I’ve heard Leah in interviews and she’s kind of bitchy and ridiculous, much like her character on the show. She’s also big into Scientology, so she’s obviously a nutjob. But she’s your Friday hot chick, and if you don’t like it, go google someone else on your own time.

  • Where ya goin with dat hand dere?
  • That cannot be comfortable
  • She played Stacy Karosi back in the day
  • These poses are nice

This is a particularly shitty version of the Hot Chick. Sorry.

Fridays hot chick

December 21, 2007

ITS BRITNEY, BITCH!

Seriously. It is. But please note that none of these pictures are recent. Present day Britney is less attractive than 95 percent of the girls EOS and I banged in college, and we were pigs back then. I mean, we’re pigs now, but we’re pigs in long-term, monogomous relationships.

Anyway, I wasn’t a big Britney fan when she first blew up. I thought her eyes were too far apart, and she was too young. Then around the time of ‘I’m a Slave for You’ and ‘Toxic’, I started to come around.

So here we go. Happy Holidays to all.

week 15 roundup (and a hot chick for monday)

December 17, 2007

I’m excited to write this week’s roundup. A lot of things to get off my chest. Also, since I forgot to give everyone a Friday hot chick last week, I’ll throw a little something down towards the end of the post for all you Salma Hayek fans. (Also, fuck the Thursday and Saturday games; they were both horrible).

Tennessee 26, Kansas City 17–So, last week I decide that Vince Young sucks and the next week he throws for 191 yards, 2 touchdowns and no picks in the win. I think we can all agree that the Chiefs have packed it in and are preparing for 2008. They’ve been a distracted team all year, mostly because of the argument which is tearing the team apart: who has the hotter wife–Tony Gonzalez (October) or Brodie Croyle (Kelli)? The correct answer is number 88.

Cleveland 8, Buffalo 0–A recurring theme you will find in this week’s post is your esteemed writer bitching about his fantasy football team. I played my semifinal game this week, and although I am currently winning by 7, my opponent has the Minnesota defense tonight. So thats not good. Why am I mentioning that now? Because of the fucking blizzard in Cleveland, which caused Braylon Edwards to only get 4 catches for 64 yards all day. Fuck snow.

Tampa Bay 37, Atlanta 3–How does a franchise go 31 years without returning one kickoff for a touchdown? Not one? Well, Michael Spurlock ended the Bucs’ national nightmare by bringing one to the house. On the other side, it seems Bobby Petrino was doing a hell of a job for Atlanta before leaving this week. I’m sure if he was prowling the sidelines, the Falcons would of lost by less than 30. And if you’re a Falcon fan, kill yourself what else can you ask for?

Carolina 13, Seattle 10–This is the worst loss of the season. By any NFL team. Yes, Seattle is already in the playoffs. I understand they weren’t playing for anything other than the 3 slot in the postseason. But Carolina was playing some of the worst football in the league. They were 1-5 at home coming into this game. The Panthers started some dude named Matt Moore at quarterback. And the Seahawks lost. Also, someone please tell me why Shaun Alexander is getting any carries for the Seahawks? Here are his rush yards the last 7 games: 25, 35, 47, 32, 65, 38, 17. Sunday, he had a 20-yard run and ended up with…….17 yards. So his 6 other carries he had negative 3 yards. Christ.

Jacksonville 29, Pittsburgh 22–Right now, the Jaguars seem like the 5th-best team in the league and the most likely ‘dark horse’ in the AFC. They run the ball well, play good defense, and have a quarterback who minimizes mistakes. The prevailing thought right now is that they have the best chance of derailing the Patriots, outside of a healthy Colts squad. But here’s the thing–this win isn’t as impressive to me. The Steelers do not look very strong the last few weeks. Also, keep in mind that the Jags have always been a team who beats who they are supposed to beat, but once they play the upper-echelon teams, they get spanked. We’ll see in January.

Green Bay 33, St. Louis 14–The Packers jump to 12-2 behind the arm of Brett Favre and strong performance by their defense. Who didn’t play well for the Packers? Ryan Grant. Last week, I called him a God for blowing up in the first week of the fantasy playoffs. This week, I call him a mark-ass trick for rushing for only 55 yards and fumbling against a 3-11 team. Sure, he scored a touchdown, but I expect more from a Ryan Grant. Meanwhile, Marc Bulger set the NFL record for most pass attempts in a game by a NFL quarterback who doesn’t know his own name due to symptoms related to concussion. Way to go, Marc!

Miami 22, Baltimore 16–Well, its official: Brian Billick is the worst coach in the NFL. Seriously. Think about Billick’s career–he’s named an ‘offensive genius’ in Minnesota as offensive coordinator, even though 90 percent of their offense in the mid to late 90s was throwing a screen to Robert Smith, an out to Cris Carter, or a jump ball to Randy Moss. He gets to Baltimore, wins a title with one of the three best defenses of all time, and since then has won maybe one playoff game (I don’t want to do the research to find out exactly how many). Sure, you could say I would be dancing on the Dolphins’ grave if Matt Stover had simply hit a 40-yarder in OT. So this game can’t be Billick’s fault. And you’d be right. But fuck that, I don’t like Brian Billick so I blame this game on him. So there.

New England 20, NY Jets 10–I was really impressed by the Jets. I thought they would play the Pats ‘tough’, that is, hold them to around 40 points. But I never in a million years would have thought that the Jets defense would hold New England’s offense to 6 points (2 field goals; the first TD was scored by the Pats defense…..the second TD was created by a blocked punt which put NE on the NY 2). It still wasn’t enough, and the Patriots are 14-0. Hey Mercury Morris…….are they ‘on your block’ now, you fucking overrated asswipe? Look out yer window, you fucking felon. Thats Tom Brady fucking his Brazilian supermodel girlfriend on a pile of money in your front yard.

New Orleans 31, Arizona 24–2 heartless, heartless teams battle in a place where a bunch of people starved and died about 2 years ago. Is there a more depressing game this week? Probably not. So what better than a nice big ass to make everyone feel better? Thanks Vida.

Indianapolis 21, Oakland 14–A special thank you goes out to Joseph Addai and the Colts offensive coaching staff from my fantasy team and I. Addai has been my number one back all year. I picked him in the 5th slot. I loved him all year. He has produced. Can’t really complain about his season, outside of a few games where he failed to put up 10 points. Going into this week, he looked like perhaps the best running back in fantasy for Week 15. Playing the 30th ranked run defense, and due for a breakout game. Yes, quite a breakout. 15 carries for 44 yards. Wow. Thats just……awesome. If it weren’t for a special person I am going to mention in a few spaces, Tom Moore, Peyton Manning, and Addai would be getting the majority of my wrath this week. But they are spared. Because of…….her. (You will see).

San Diego 51, Detroit 14–Since the Lions are ‘God’s team’, and they have lost 6 in a row, one can only deduce that God has either switched teams or is dead. I don’t think an all-powerful deity can ‘die’, so I’m guessing that God is now a Patriots fan. He’s a frontrunner.

Philadelphia 10, Dallas 6–When all this Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo crap began bubbling up, I made jokes along the lines of ‘She better not ruin my fantasy team!’ or ‘He better stay focused in the fantasy playoffs!’. Hilarious, right? All I needed was a pithy ‘LOL’ at the end of those bad boys. Those are gold, Jerry! Gold!

Then Sunday happened. Why the fuck did that stupid cunt rag have to show up for this game with her creepy-ass father? Also, who the fuck wears their boyfriend’s jersey to the game? I mean, besides a 15-year old attending the JV game at the local high school. How much more of an attention hound can a person be? Jess, if you want attention, go topless in a movie. All anyone wants from you is your tits. Tony, me, your dad…..just your rack. So show them to us, and let us go on with our lives. I’ve always thought Ashlee was hotter anyway. Sure, you’re more traditionally attractive, but you just know that Ashlee would be so grateful for the attention. All it would take is one ‘I’ve always thought you were more talented than your sister’ or ‘I don’t quite get why MTV took ‘The Ashlee Simpson Show’ off the air, and she would absolutely go to town.

In other words, stay at home next time you retarded hillbilly. Or if you must go to the game, wear a nice, reserved top like 99.9 percent of grown women who fuck a player and act like an adult.

Here’s Salma Hayek:

friday’s hot chick

December 7, 2007

Lacey Chabert, the hottest cast member of ‘Mean Girls’. And ‘Party of Five’ (even though she wasn’t hot when she was on the show, she certainly has passed Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt by.)

  • All of these pictures are going to be cutesy/sexy.
  • I think its because she’s religious or something.
  • She must know God personally if He gave her all this.
  • Lacey is of age, right?
  • Here is one with the other members of the ‘Mean Girls’ cast. Is it possible Rachel McAdams is the least hot one of the four? Yes, it is.

Is it also possible that of the four girls mentioned above, only one is anywhere near my age?

fridays hot chicks

November 30, 2007

Today’s hot chick is Charisma Carpenter. I really don’t know what she does, per se, but I do know she was back in the news recently because she broke up with her husband. I think she’s an actress-slash-model.

There are two things I really like about Charisma, outside of her obvious assets. One is the wealth of nude photos available. The second are her areolas and nipples. I’m not usually a guy who focuses on this particular body part, but Charisma’s are a deep brown, and they intrigue me.

  • I don’t know whats up with the Warhol shit; just focus on the pic to the left.
  • This is the last one of her with clothes on, I promise.
  • Hi. (NSFW)
  • Make yourself comfortable. (NSFW)
  • Take that stupid hat off. (NSFW)
  • One more for the road. (NSFW)

I also realized that I owe everybody a hot chick; because of the short week last week, I didn’t put one up. To make up for it, I’m posting arguably the hottest chick on Friday Hot Chick history. I give you…….

……..Marisa Miller.

  • Thats just greasy.
  • I mean, stop it.
  • Go to church and thank Him.
  • Nice shorts. (NSFW)
  • I can’t even describe what I would do to this. (NSFW)
  • She seems fun.