Archive for the ‘sports’ category

HHY picks, week 17

December 27, 2007

Since this week’s games is a complete pile of shit, I’m really glad I’ll be extending the picks section to the playoffs. 

Season: 113-116-11

New England (-14.5) over NY Giants
San Francisco (+11.5) over Cleveland
Miami (+3) over Cincinnati
Seattle (+2) over Atlanta
Green Bay (-3) over Detroit
Buffalo (+7.5) over Philadelphia
Carolina (-3) over Tampa Bay
Houston (-6.5) over Jacksonville
New Orleans (-3) over Chicago
Washington (-8) over Dallas
Kansas City (+6.5) over NY Jets
Minnesota (-3) over Denver
Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Baltimore
San Diego (-8) over Oakland
St. Louis (+6) over Arizona
Tennessee (-4) over Indianapolis

Thanks Denver

November 25, 2007

No really……keep kicking to him.

week 8 recap

October 29, 2007

Fuck the Bears. Seriously. Fuck em. Why do I put myself through this torture week after week, year after year? Will I ever see a better than mediocre Bears’ quarterback? Will I have to watch Cedric Benson carry the ball ever again after 2007? How long is it going to take to rebuild this entire offensive line? Can we get two new safeties that don’t suck? Will we re-sign Lance Briggs? A lot of issues at Halas Hall.

Anyway….here’s my look at the Week 8 scores.

Detroit 16, Chicago 7–It’s insane how easily this game breaks down. The Bears have no offensive line. Look at New England, who’s offensive line is having the best season for a offensive front I’ve ever seen. The offense’s effectiveness starts there, so when there are no running lanes, no time for the quarterback, a piss poor running back, mediocre receivers……the team is going to struggle. I’m not going to blame this all on Griese, but you can’t have three interceptions in the end zone. I know he’s just trying to make things happen, but the reason Griese is starting is because the last guy would rather throw the ball up for grabs than take a sack. Whatever….I’m spent.

Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 13–They’re not going any further than the second round of the playoffs, but the Steelers are definitely a top five team. Meanwhile, the Bengals continue to play perhaps the most heartless football in the league. Marvin Lewis, down 14-3 in the third quarter with 4th and goal from the 1, decides to kick a field goal. The Steelers promptly take the next kick and drive for a game-deciding touchdown. Thats a statement play right there; Marvin, you’re 2-4 and a win in this game saves your season. You have a top quarterback and two of the best receivers in football. Go for the touchdown.

Tennessee 13, Oakland 9–The Titans continue their quest to be the most boring team in the history of the league. The Chris Henry that doesn’t buy liquor for 15 year old girls had the game’s only touchdown, and apparently the Raiders are so hard up for skill players that they threw to Mike Williams on a 4th and 14 late in the fourth quarter. It hit him between the……whatever number he wears, and the Titans escaped.

Cleveland 27, St. Louis 20–I’m not going to make jokes at the Rams’ expense. They’re bad, we all know it. However, in all the talk about the great Randy Moss and other Patriot receivers, people are missing that Braylon Edwards is the best receiver in the league right now. A case can be made for TJ Houshmandzadeh, but he has Chad Johnson on the other side, so he never sees a double team. Defense are trying to take away Edwards, and he’s still got 669 yards and 9 touchdowns this year.

NY Giants 13, Miami 10–You know, we always talk about how soccer sucks because its low scoring. Then we throw a game out there with 23 total points. Maybe now the British will decide they don’t want any part of American football and the NFL will stop taking away home games from teams that deperately need them.

Philadelphia 23, Minnesota 16–Donovan McNabb threw for 333 yards, and that cued the ‘Donovan and the Eagles are back’ stories on TV, but when you take a closer look, McNabb was helped by three unbelieveable catches by Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown, and the Vikings pass defense is one of the worst in the league. Lets see Philly do it two or three weeks in a row before we pronounce them back.

Indianapolis 31, Carolina 7–Any time a Vinny Testaverde plays at home, you have to batten down the hatches and hold on, cause its gonna get frisky in here! Anyway, Vinny went 12-of-20 for 82 yards. In the hubub of the Patriots’ majesty, no one notices that the Colts won at Jacksonville and at Carolina in a span of six days by a combined score of 60-14. Thats pretty damn impressive.

Buffalo 13, NY Jets 3–I’m going to begrudgingly say something here: Dick Jauron, while not a great play calling and adjustments coach, is definitely one of the top ten in the league at maximizing talent. I mean, they are one ridiculous Nick Folk field goal and another last millisecond field goal by Jason Elam away from being 5-2. I say that will a lot of begrudgiment (not a word), because Uncle Dick is a corpse who refused to make adjustments and sit bad players while in Chicago.

San Diego 35, Houston 10–Matt Turk probably did the most pussy thing of the season yesterday. The Texans’ punter is back on his own 30 to kick, and the ball is snapped ridiculously over his head, bouncing all the way to the end zone. He runs back, and with time to either fall on it (which might hurt because someone will hit him or fall on him) or kick it out of the end zone for a safety, he decides to dive to a spot two yards beyond where the ball lied and watch as a Charger landed on it for a score. Listen…..I know you’re a punter. You’re a soccer player who got thrown on the football team a while ago and if it were me, I probably would of done the same thing. I mean, I’m a pussy. But dude, come on. At least have a small amount of heart and kick it out of the end zone. What a simp.

Jacksonville 24, Tampa Bay 23–This is the surprise of the day. Who would of thought Quinn Gray would lead this team to 24 points and the win on the road? Who would of thought Jeff Garcia would throw three picks? This game is a perfect example of the difference between the AFC and the NFC. The Jag were 4-2, coming off a 22-point whupping at home and starting a quarterback who was a wide receiver on the scout team last year. Tampa was 4-3, playing at home in a must win game. And the Jags won. I bet if Jacksonville was in the NFC South, they’d easily win the division and would be in the hunt with Dallas, New York, and Green Bay for the top seed in the conference.

New England 52, Washington 7–I’m not going to mention the dude at quarterback, who has 30 touchdowns and 2 interceptions in 8 games. I could talk about the receivers, three of whom are absolute monsters. The defense, led by Mike Vrabel (9 tackles, 3 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, TD reception), is a top-10 defense, maybe better. But the Patriots’ offensive line is ABSOLUTELY DOMINANT. I’ve watched a lot of New England football this year, and the main thing that sticks out is that Brady is touched like twice a game. Whatever running back gets in there gets five yards before he’s touched. Matt Light, Logan Mankins, Dan Koppen, Stephen Neal, Nick Kaczur–you guys are monsters. There are a few guys out there who notice who the real MVPs of the team are.

New Orleans 31, San Francisco 10–The 49ers’ offensive coordinator Jim Hostler is reaching John Shoop, Terry Shea status in the Bay Area. Jim, get ready to look for quarterback coach openings in the NAIA.

HHY Week 8 picks

October 24, 2007

Maybe I should stop giving out ‘Best Bets’. I’m over .500 on the season, but way under on my best bets.

Season: 49-45-9, Best Bets: 8-12-1

Cleveland (-3) over St. Louis
Detroit (+5) over Chicago
Indianapolis (-6.5) over Carolina
NY Giants (-10) over Miami
Oakland (+7.5) over Tennessee
Minnesota (+1) over Philadelphia
Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Cincinnati
Buffalo (+3) over NY Jets
San Diego (-11) over Houston
Tampa Bay (-4) over Jacksonville
San Francisco (+3) over New Orleans
New England (-16.5) over Washington
Green Bay (+3) over Denver

HHY 2007-2008 NBA Preview

October 23, 2007

I am truly excited about this NBA season. I don’t know why. I bought an 11-game season ticket package with the Bulls, so maybe that is part of it. But I haven’t been this interested in an NBA season since Michael was still in town.

I am putting out this preview, complete with predictions, with a disclaimer: I’m not an NBA expert. While I feel very confident about my baseball and football knowledge, I am not quite as confident when it comes to the Association. I understand the game, for the most part, but I had to go to the WWL to check the division realignment that took place like four years ago. Oh well.

So here’s the preview. Of course, these picks are subject to change should a certain two-guard in Los Angeles get dealt.

Eastern Conference–Atlantic Division
Boston–This one is relatively easy. I’m not in the camp that this Celtics team will challenge the 96 Bulls’ 72 wins, I do think that the big three are good enough for 55-57 wins in the Eastern Conference. I am interested to see if Jesus Shuttlesworth Ray Allen is truly done or if he finds new life playing with Garnett and Pierce.
Toronto–I love this Raptor team. I was tempted to place them above Boston, but I’m trying to write with my head and not my gut, which is ample. Chris Bosh is a beast, but supporting characters TJ Ford, Anthony Parker, Andrea Bargnani, and Jose Calderon are quick and solid shooters. If Toronto can improve their defense, they will be a major Eastern force.
New Jersey–This is where the division starts to fall off. Jason Kidd started to fall off last year, and while Vinsanity and Richard Jefferson had decent seasons, Nenad Kristic was the Nets’ second leading scorer. Ick. 45 wins would be stellar for this team.
Philadelphia–After the trade of Iverson, the 76ers actually improved. With the addition of first round pick Rodney Carney to the solid Andre Iguadala and Andre Miller, the Sixers may sneak into the playoffs. But I don’t see them having enough offense to be a force.
New York–This is a great fantasy team. Zach Randolph. Stephon Marbury. Jamal Crawford. Eddy Curry. Quentin Richardson. David Lee. This team has a ton of talent, and it may be a stretch to say they’ll finish below New Jersey and Philly. But I predict the poor cohesion and coaching of the Knicks will keep them out of the playoffs and near the bottom of the conference.
Central Division
Chicago–No, this is not with my heart. I think the Bulls will put it together this year en route to 53-57 wins, which should be good enough to win this division. Luol Deng is ready to make the leap to one of the 10 best players in the East. If Tyrus Thomas can overcome rumors that he is in Scott Skiles’ doghouse and be a force off the bench, Chicago would be the deepest team in the division.
Detroit–The Pistons began to show their age a bit last year, and while they may have been the better team, they got outplayed by LeBron and the Cavs in the East Finals. I see them getting 50 wins and being a team that will contend for the conference title, but I don’t see them being a better regular season team than the Bulls.
Cleveland–I love LeBron. What he did in the postseason last year was very Jordanish. But I see a letdown for him and the Cavs this year. Its quite a burden to have to carry a team game in and game out, and after 100-plus games in 2006-07, I think the lack of depth will take its toll this year.
Indiana–After a poor 2006-07, the Pacers look to slip into the playoffs this year. Jermaine O’Neal may be dealt around the trade deadline, but the Pacers have enough young talent to finish ahead of the team below them. Will they make the postseason? Not sure about that.
Milwaukee–The Bucks are horrible. Yes, Michael Redd can score in bunches and on the right team where he isn’t the second option, Andrew Bogut might be a nice player. But unless first round pick Yi Jianlian adjusts to Wisconsin and blows up to Rookie of the Year proportions (doubtful), this team won’t win more than 35 games.
Washington–This division sucks, but I love Agent Zero. Hibachi could drop 55 on you. He could also drop a 1-for-17 on you. But that’s cool. The Wiz also have Caron Butler, Antwan Jamison, and rookie Nick Young, and thats enough to win this division.
Miami–The Diesel is pretty much finished, but he’s got enough in the tank to play 40 or so games and combine with a healthy D-Wade to contend for a top four spot in the conference. But the Heat are real old. Did you know Anfernee Hardaway is on the roster? He and Shaq are trying to get Dennis Scott out of retirement.
Orlando–Dwight Howard is a beast, and he no longer has to look over his shoulder for the intimidating presence of Darko trying to take his job. If Dwight can get some help from Hedo, rookie James Augustine and the rest of the Magic, they could surprise some peeps and perhaps win a playoff series. Probably not, though.
Atlanta–The Hawks have never been good, I don’t think. I know they won a bunch of games in the 80s. I think the Bulls played them in the playoffs a few times in the 90s. And although they have a ton of young talent, the Hawks are not ready to contend, even in the East. Their roster is like a who’s who of good college talent from the earlier part of this decade, though. So they got that going for them.
Charlotte–Apparently Morrison is hurt. Not like it matters. I don’t think I’ve been more wrong about a player than I was about Sean May. Sure, injuries have hurt, but I believe he’s not good. I was sure he was going to be a beast. The Bobcats do have Emeka Okafor and Jason Richardson, but thats just enough to struggle for 30 wins.

Western Conference–Northwest Division
Utah–This team looks like clearly the class of this division. If Andre Kirlienko comes back to his 2006 form, this team is a little talked about contender for the NBA title. As is, Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are both all-stars, and Mehmet Okur is a solid post player. The Jazz are a good, good team who has an outside chance for 60 wins.
Denver–Can Iverson and Carmelo, with a season under their wings, play well together again and be a force in the West? Or will the team self-distruct? Third option: Iverson and Melo play well, and the rest of the team–who’s best player is either Marcus Camby or Kenyon Martin–shit down their leg. I will say this–if Camby and Martin stay healthy and find the fountain of youth, look out.
Portland–This is my big surprise. How can the worst team in the league a year ago, a team who lost number one pick Greg Oden for the season, improve this drastically? I really like Brandon Roy. I feel LaMarcus Aldridge will have an improved second season. And finally, the Blazers have decent depth and size. They could win 40-45 games and contend for the eighth playoff slot.
Seattle–How good is Kevin Durant? I don’t know. I think he could very well put up 27 points a game this year. I also think he has little help on the Sonics. Can fellow rookie Jeff Green be a player? This young of a team will show flashes of greatness but ultimately will struggle to win games, especially in the West.
Minnesota–After years of shopping Kevin Garnett, the Wolves finally dealt him before KG went on a killing spree. In return they got a solid young player (Al Jefferson) and a couple guys who I think truly suck. Minnesota did draft Corey Brewer, my favorite player outside of Durant in last year’s draft. He and Randy Foye could be a solid backcourt for a long time. But this year, the Wolves will struggle to win 30.
Phoenix–This Suns team is in its final go round here. Its put up or shut up time. And I think, after getting royally screwed by the league and its refs last year, that they will. Will they trade Shawn Marion? I don’t know. I do know that if they hold on to him, they are my pick to win the title.
Golden State–Everyone jumped on the Warrior bandwagon in the playoffs last year, as they hit shot after ridiculous shot and played solid defense in beating the top-seeded Mavs. I think they’ll ride that wave into a good 2007-2008, and with the addition of first round pick Brendan Wright, Golden State have an outside chance at 50 wins.
LA Lakers–I mean, if Kobe gets traded, this whole preview is up for grabs. For now, I’ll stick them in third in the division. It might be the best thing for the Lake show to trade Kobe; they can add to an already decent young nucleus and hope to contend for a title in 2009 or 2010.
LA Clippers–Throw the Clippers and the Kings in a hat, pull out a name, and choose who will finish four-five in the Pacific. The Clippers followed up a strong 2006 with a disappointing and injury plagued 2007, and now Elton Brand is hurt. With a lot of points (and shots) out there to be had, Corey Maggette could score 25-plus this year and be a prime deadline deal guy. Also, first rounder Al Thornton could be a poor man’s Brand and put up 18 and 10 and I wouldn’t be surprised.
Sacromento–The Kings really missed their window four or five years ago, and its a shame because the home crowd there was ridiculous. Now, they get to watch Mike Bibby, Ron Artest, and Kevin Martin run around and get 30 wins.
Dallas–I think Dirk and the boys were really embarassed last year (great insight), and could come back with a vengence this year, win 70 games and blow the rest of the NBA out of the water. Or, when they have their first tough road game at San Antonio or Phoenix, Dirk and the boys will have flashbacks and collapse. I think the Mavs will again win 60-plus games and fall apart in the playoffs. Maybe not in the first round, but they won’t beat a determined Suns team.
San Antonio–The defending champs, I believe, are done. Sure, they’re good enough to win 55 games and contend again. But the Spurs haven’t been able to repeat before (huge criticism, I know) and I think Duncan will have trouble health-wise this year. Mr. Longoria showed he is the best player on the team in the Finals, but for him and Tim to carry the Spurs for 100 games won’t work again.
Houston–If I could count on T-Mac and Yao playing 164 games this year at the level they eachare capable of, with full health, I would put the Rockets in the Mavs and Spurs class with ease. But they won’t. I think they’re a playoff team, but thats where it begins and ends with H-town.
Memphis–0-8 in the last two postseasons. Just go away, Grizz. Maybe its the constant ‘Pau Gasol is the Bulls’ answer’ talk here in Chicago, but I really don’t think much of this team. And I don’t think I should. After two quick exits the last few years, the Grizzlies will fail to even make the playoffs this year.
New Orleans–I’ll tell you what, this might be the worst team in the league. Yes, they were close to a playoff spot in 2007, but I really don’t think the Hornets are very talented. And I’ll tell you another thing: Tyson Chandler can suck a big, herpes infested dick. For four or five years, he was an absolute bitch for the Bulls. Missed numerous games because of injury, feuded with Skiles, bitched about his contract even though he was making nearly 8 figures. 5 points and 5 rebounds a game in 2006. The Bulls trade him like he wanted, then he proceeds to put up a solid 10 points and 12.4 rebounds a game in 2007. What a little bitch.

East Playoffs–Boston over Orlando, Chicago over Miami, Toronto over Washington, Detroit over Cleveland, Boston over Detroit, Toronto over Chicago, Boston over Toronto.
West Playoffs–Phoenix over Portland, Dallas over Golden State, Utah over Houston, Denver over San Antonio, Phoenix over Denver, Utah over Dallas, Phoenix over Utah.
NBA Finals–Phoenix 4, Boston 1

There ya go. Let me have it.

week 7 picks from hhy

October 18, 2007

Season: 41-39-9, Best Bets: 8-9-1

Washington (-8.5) over Arizona
New Orleans (-9) over Atlanta
Buffalo (+3) over Baltimore
New England (-17) over Miami
NY Giants (-9.5) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (+2) over Detroit
Tennessee (-1.5) over Houston
Kansas City (+3) over Oakland
NY Jets (+6) over Cincinnati
Dallas (-9.5) over Minnesota
Philadelphia (-5.5) over Chicago
Seattle (-9) over St. Louis
Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Denver
Indianapolis (-3) over Jacksonville

Best Bets: 1. Tampa Bay, 2. New Orleans, 3. NY Jets

Purple Jesus, Dreamboat, and the rest of week 6

October 15, 2007

Minnesota 34, Chicago 31–Best performance by an opposing player I’ve ever seen. Purple Jesus went off. 224 yards rushing and 3 scores, and he added a 55 yard kick return to set up Ryan Longwell’s game winning 55 yard field goal at the gun. The time when us Bears fans could rely on the defense to make plays and keep us in games no matter what is over, and the tackling of the secondary–especially Daneal Manning and Brandon McGowan–was absolutely dreadful for the second straight week. On the bright side, Devin Hester continued his dominance with an 89-yard punt return and a 81-yard touchdown reception with just over two minutes left. There have been better Bears, but Hester is by far the most exciting player to wear the uniform in my lifetime. People talk about the great Gale Sayers, and while Sayers was a better overall football player, I can’t imagine that he’s more exciting that Hester.

Cleveland 41, Miami 31–Derek Anderson is the truth, son! This situation reminds me of the Bengals a few years ago. Remember, they drafted Carson Palmer but decided to let Jon Kitna start that first year? And Kitna responded with a huge season? Well, Anderson is Jon Kitna and Brady Quinn is Carson Palmer. Anyway, the Browns seem to really have something on the offensive side of the ball, with Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow becoming Pro Bowl-level targets in the passing game. For the Fish, Cleo Lemon threw for 256 yards and 2 scores but it wasn’t enough as Miami fell to 0-6.

Green Bay 17, Washington 14–So I click on to read the box score for this game, and the Web site provides a link with one line which summarizes the game. For example, the Bears-Vikings game was something along the lines of ‘Peterson explodes as Vikings upset Bears.’ Well, the link for this game is ‘Favre leads Green Bay to 5-1.’ So what did Brett Favre do, you ask? 19-for-37, 188 yards, 0 touchdowns, 2 interceptions. The winning touchdown was scored by the Packer defense, a 57 yard fumble return by Charles Woodson. This is a perfect example of why non-Packer fans are fucking sick of the Favre love. He played a shitty game, the defense made a huge play to win an important game, and the media lazily puts up ‘Favre leads Green Bay to 5-1.’ Give me a fucking break.

Kansas City 27, Cincinnati 20–Apparently the Cheifs aren’t that shitty. Either that, or the Bengals are really bad. It could be both. The 2007 Heartless Pig Award might go to the Bengals defense, which week after week gets torched. Larry Johnson, previously left for dead after 5 horrid weeks, had 119 yards and a score and ensured that his fantasy owners will now keep him in the lineup for the rest of the year, thinking he is back. Marvin Lewis should go ahead and sell his home and scour for defensive coordinator positions, cuz this ship has sailed.

Philadelphia 16, NY Jets 9–Hey, Mangenious…..any time you want to get Chad Pennington the fuck out of there, Jets fans will appreciate it. The New Yorkers got 130 yards from Thomas Jones and still couldn’t score a touchdown. Meanwhile, Kevin Curtis and Wes Welker are battling for the title of Best White Receiver of the Year. Previous winners include Steve Largent, Don Beebe, and Tom Waddle.

Tampa Bay 13, Tennessee 10–I’ll tell you kids something–look at Jeff Garcia’s numbers for this season. 1188 yards passing with a 66.7 completion percentage. % touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 103.6 passer rating. Tony Romo is getting all the publicity, but Garcia is the best quarterback in the NFC right now. He might not be a fantasy superstar, but he’s getting the job done very effectively for a team which will probably win its division. If you’re Dallas or Green Bay, do you want to play the Bucs in the divisional round of the playoffs, with Garcia running around like a jackass, throwing off balance and that defense playing like it is? I wouldn’t. Meanwhile, the Titans truly suck, and if Vince Young is ever injured seriously, they’ll lose about 75 percent of their games.

Jacksonville 37, Houston 17–Wasn’t it cool at the beginning of the year, when the Texans were 2-0 and everyone was talking about them being the sleeper of 2007? Yeah, not so much. The Texans can’t stop the run, and when you’re playing Jacksonville, that’s not good. 244 yards rushing, not good. David Garrard is doing in the AFC what Jeff Garcia is in the NFC: quietly putting together a stellar, if unspectacular, season. 1069 yards passing, 66.2 completions percentage, 6 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 104.7 rating. Meanwhile, Byron Leftwich really likes the new chicken fries from Burger King.

Baltimore 22, St. Louis 3–Lordy, are the Rams horrid. Every week, I write something small about the Ram game because I want to leave the true dissection of the team to our resident Rams fan, everyones on steroids. But it doesn’t seem as if he’s very interested in this garbage. So I’m gonna lay something out for the kids in the Lou: sit Bulger and Jackson for the rest of the season. Why bring them back now? So they can play hurt and the Rams can finish 5-11, 4-12? Please. Sit em, play some kids, finish one or two games worse than that, and get a top 5 pick. As for the Ravens, they are really boring and I hate writing about them. They had 5 interceptions on defense, and I’m guessing Willis McGahee did something.

Carolina 25, Arizona 10–Elway. Montana. Unitas. Marino. Favre. Manning. Brady. Make room, gentlemen. Vinny’s back. Testaverde blew the fuck up against the Cardinals, throwing for 206 yards and a score to lead the Panthers to a big victory on the road. It would be really awesome if Vinny was the starter for the rest of the year. Why not? What, Carolina should be anxious to throw David Carr back in there? Please, he blows. On the other side, Tim Rattay rallied the Cardinals after Kurt Warner hyperextended his elbow. Rallied them to 159 yards and 3 interceptions. After the game, Rattay looked at the stat sheet, saw he got monster-fucked by a 44 year old dude who wasn’t even in the league last week, and hung himself.

New England 48, Dallas 27–I didn’t even know these two teams were playing this week. You would think that two 5-0 teams matching up would of had more of a build up. Anyway, the Patriots will probably go 16-0 if they stay healthy. Since the Pats and Cowboys will probably represent their conferences in the Super Bowl, we already know that New England will blow out the Cowboys in February. So, on October 15, the season is over. Fuck you, Dreamboat.

San Diego 28, Oakland 14–LT got the ball. He ran for 200 yards and 4 touchdowns. Wow. Look what happens when you give the best player the fucking ball. Thanks Norv; you owe me 500 dollars. (Suicide pool pot that I lost when picking SD a few weeks back).

New Orleans 28, Seattle 17–This was one of the worst coached games I have ever seen. Mike Holmgren should be fired after this season. The Seahawk playcalling was horrible. In the 4th quarter, here are some of the calls Holgren made: 4th and 3, called timeout and then ran a draw–with the fullback–and gained 1 yard; team scored to make it 28-17, kicked an onsides kick with over 7 minutes left in the game–kick failed; with under 2 minutes left, facing a 4th and 9 on the Saints’ 20, decided to go for it instead of kicking the field goal to cut it to 8 and then trying an onsides kick. You need 3 anyway, Mike…..why not get it now instead of trying a 4th and 9? Fucking moron. Go comb your walrus mustache.

HHY’s Week 6 predictions

October 11, 2007

Had another plus-.500 week; my record is now near Everyones on Steroids’ mark, and he’s not even picking against the spread. Yeah, bite it. Anyway, here’s the picks:

Season: 36-33-7, Best Bets: 6-8-1

Cincinnati (-3) over Kansas City
Houston (+7) over Jacksonville
Miami (+5) over Cleveland
Chicago (-6) over Minnesota
Philadelphia (-3) over NY Jets
Baltimore (-10) over St. Louis
Tampa Bay (-3) over Tennessee
Washington (+3) over Green Bay
Carolina (+4) over Arizona
Dallas (+6) over New England
San Diego (-10) over Oakland
Seattle (-7) over New Orleans
NY Giants (-3.5) over Atlanta

Best Bets: 1. NY Giants, 2. Cincinnati, 3. Baltimore

Week 5 Roundup. (And fuck Norv Turner).

October 8, 2007

Yeah, that’s what the fuck I’m talking about. An absolutely horrible week of boring ass games was capped off with the mighty Bears slapping the Packers around Lambeau. (What, a 7-point win when you force 5 turnovers and the other team commits 12 penalites isn’t a slap? Fuck you.)

The only thing that could of made this weekend any better was if the Cubs got shut down by Livan Hernandez. Oh, that happened? Oops.

Anyway, here’s a roundup of the stellar rather crappy Week 5 NFL games.

Tennessee 20, Atlanta 13–This would have been a great matchup of running QBs if the dog murderer hadn’t gotten caught. Damn the man. Anyway, the Titans turned the ball over 5 times and that still wasn’t enough for the Falcons to pull out the road win. With the score tied at 13 late in the third quarter, Titan Pacman Jones Vincent Fuller intercepted a Joey Harrington pass and ran 76 yards for a touchdown. Tennessee would have been my suicide pool pick had that fucking asswipe Norv Turner not shit the bed in week 4. Seriously, I’m thinking of renaming this blog ‘Fuck Norv Turner.’ Dot com. Or org. I don’t know.

Jacksonville 17, Kansas City 7–So week one, Tennessee runs for almost 300 runs on Jacksonville. Now, in week 5, with Larry Johnson, the Chiefs run for 10 yards. 10 fucking yards? How bad is the Chief offensive line. Folks, if you play fantasy football, and you have LJ: trade him for whatever you can get now. Or wait until he has a somewhat decent game. Because that team just sucks. I cannot believe they beat the Chargers last week. THATS how bad of a coach Norv Turner is. Seriously, fuck Norv Turner.

Arizona 34, St. Louis 31–A lot of talk around the blogosphere about the Cardinals being the team to beat in the NFC West. Folks, the Rams offense is absolutely atrocious and it scored 31 on these guys. Brian Leonard went over 100 yards. That dude didn’t even start for Rutgers at halfback last year. Rutgers. The Cardinals will be lucky to win 8 games. But that might be good enough to make the playoffs.

New England 34, Cleveland 17–I know this is going to sound stupid, but after this game I have more respect for the Browns than I did going in. I’m not saying they are going to challenge Pittsburgh in the AFC North, but they almost covered the spread. That’s more than we can say for the other Patriot opponents this year. There must be something wrong with Tom Brady because he had 16 incompletions. What a suckbag. (He also had 3 touchdowns and almost 300 yards passing).

Carolina 16, New Orleans 13–The Saints are really, really bad. Marques Colston is having a really bad sophomore campaign. Reggie Bush is a solid weapon, but without someone to spell him while running between the tackles, he’s just not going to be as effective. Also, Drew Brees is really pressing. He had another 2 picks, including one to ex-Bear Chris Harris. Although they won the game, the Panthers had a rough day as Jake Delhomme is feared out for the season. So, basically, the Bucs won the NFC South because David Carr is just gross.

NY Giants 35, NY Jets 24–This might be one of the most entertaining games of the day, as the Giants came back from a ten-point third quarter deficit to blow out the Jets. Plaxico Burress is an absolute monster, with the talent to really dominate if he would stay interested throughout the season. The Giants also may have found something in the backfield, as the one-two punch of Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward looked great. But what really came across in this game was that Chad Pennington is no longer an NFL quarterback. He’s a solid backup, thats all. Chad had five interceptions in the last two weeks, and each was an absolutely horrible throw. Pennington has bad arm strength, so he has to make concise, smart passes. If he’s not doing so, he’s a weak armed Rex Grossman.

Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 0–The Seahawks avenged their Super Bowl XL loss by thrashing the Steeler defense to the tune of 144 total yards and just over 19 minutes of possession in the shutout loss. Willie Parker and the basket shitter combined for 160 yards rushing and Ben Roethlisberger had a very smart, efficient day (18-for-22, 1 touchdown, 0 interceptions).

Washington 34, Detroit 3–Seriously, this Lions team beat the Bears? They scored 34 in the 4th quarter last week? Christ, the Bears suck. Anyway, Mark Sellers put on a damn highlight show by catching a touchdown pass and absolutely obliterating Lions safety Kenoy Kennedy on another reception. Jason Campbell is rounding into a solid quarterback, and with his improved play and a strong defense, the Redskins definitely look like the Cowboys’ only real competition in the division.

Houston 22, Miami 19–Dude, Kris Brown is a fucking beast. He went 5-for-5, including a game-winning 57 yarder to win the game. Tell me who should be player of the week other than Kris? I mean, ECUM’s favorite basket shitter only had 2 touchdowns. I am naming Kris Brown ECUM’s favorite kicker, from this day forward. This motherfucker scored 16 points by himself! Yeah, Kris! Get some!

Indianapolis 33, Tampa Bay 14–This is how good the AFC is. The Colts didn’t have their starting running back or wide receiver. They were playing the best team in the NFC South. And they won by 19. Christ. I think the New England-Indianapolis game in a few weeks might be the best sporting event in the history of the world. Anything less than a 48-45 OT game will be a letdown. Anyway, the dude thats always in those commercials had 253 yards passing and 2 touchdowns, and Kenton Keith came in for my fantasy starter Joseph Addai and put up 158 total yards and 2 scores. Kenton Keith: 27 fantasy points.

San Diego 41, Denver 3–The Broncos are dead, folks. Think about it: Denver has been good or great almost every year since John Elway was playing. Since the mid-80s, I can’t think of a really bad Broncos team. This might be it. Sure, the Chargers were playing for their season. But 41-3 at Invesco? Wow. Norv did manage to hold LT scoreless again, and guys who had the number one pick in their fantasy drafts will continue to convert to voodoo just to stick pins in a miniature Norv in order to get LT some fucking red zone touches.

Baltimore 9, San Francisco 7–No one wants to read about this game. What a shitfest.

Chicago 27, Green Bay 20–Hey, I’ll take it. But I haven’t seen a team just give away a game like the Packers did yesterday. They had five turnovers. 12 penalties. The Packers playcalling was absolutely horrible. The Bears scored to make it 20-17, and on the ensuing possession the Packers run three times in the middle of the line and punt. Also, why didn’t the Packers just run that little slant about 44 times? The Bears couldn’t stop it unless Tillman stripped the ball. And that two-minute drill was really bad. Me thinks Mike McCarthy sucks as a coach. And the Bears still only won by a score. But again, it doesn’t count less than a 45 point win, so fuck it. Lets take on the Vikes next week, get back to .500, and cruise into the Philly game.

the real problem with the chicago bears offense

October 3, 2007

Yeah, it turns out it wasn’t Rex after all. Who would have thunk it? (Oh, yeah, me).

But I wasn’t the only one that saw past Rex’s horrible passes and into deeper reasons for the Bears offensive ineptitude. The receivers drop passes and outside of Bernard Berrian, don’t get open frequently. The offensive line seems half as effective as they were in 2006, both in the passing game and in the running game.

But the real issue is Cedric Benson. The guy is not an every down, load-bearing back.

Sure, like I said earlier, the offensive line isn’t opening the same holes. But it can’t be doing that much worse than in 2006. And I’m not buying into the idea that many meathead Bears fans believe, that with Thomas Jones the offense would be cruising along. Check Jones’ stats with the Jets. He’s not exactly tearing it up.

But if a guy is going to be a focal point of an offense, a 300-carry, 1200-yard plus running back, shouldn’t he be the a top ten or top fifteen back? I think so. And yet, if the Bears had their choice, I bet there are a ton of running backs in the league they would start ahead of Benson for the remainder of this season.

In fact, lets go with that premise: How many active running backs would I, hardawayhatesyou, rather have as the Bears’ premier back for the remaining twelve games on the schedule?

  • Dallas: 2; Marion Barber is a definite and Julius Jones is a strong back who has proven he can be a number one back.
  • Philadelphia: 1; Brian Westbrook is an absolute yes–sure he might break down on his first carry, but if he’s healthy he is a beast.
  • NY Giants: None; You could make an argument for both Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward, but neither have proven to me that they can be an every-down NFL back.
  • Washington: 2; While Clinton Portis has not shown the same burst in DC as he did in Denver, he’s definitely better than Benson. Ladell Betts went over 1000 yards last year and is a strong runner.
  • Minnesota: 2; Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor are both better than Benson.
  • Detroit: None; Like the Giants, Detroit has two backs–Tatum Bell and Kevin Jones–who one could argue are better than Benson, but I’m not ready to go there. Jones would be a definite yes if I thought he could last more than six games.
  • Green Bay: None; Maybe in a year or two Brandon Jackson will be a stud, but I’d take my chances with Benson at this moment. I’ll take their quarterback, though.
  • Seattle: 1; Shaun Alexander is a definite yes.
  • San Francisco: 1; Frank Gore, despite his recent struggles, is clearly a better option.
  • St. Louis: 1; Steven Jackson, see the Gore comments.
  • Arizona: 2; Here is where I might lose some people. Edgerrin James is easily better, but I’m also gonna throw Marcel Shipp as a better option than Benson. Shipp had over 800 yards on 188 and 224 carries, respectively, in 2002 and 2003. He also had 103 receptions in his first three seasons. So yes, I’d rather have Marcel Shipp than Cedric Benson. Wow.
  • Tampa Bay: 1; And its not Carnell Williams. I’m going to go with Earnest Graham, a guy who is just recently getting a chance. He runs hard and finishes his runs with a fervor I have never seen out of Benson.
  • Carolina: None; DeShaun Foster and DeAngelo Williams are the two backs in Carolina, and while both might be better, I wouldn’t necessarily want both ahead of Benson. Foster can impress, but he is really injury-prone.
  • New Orleans: 1; Reggie Bush isn’t an every down NFL runner, but I’d take him ahead of Benson. And this number would be 2 if Deuce McAlister hadn’t just blown out his knee.
  • Atlanta: 1; Warrick Dunn has proven he can carry the load successfully. Jerious Norwood might pass Benson by the end of the season, as well.
  • Indianapolis: 1; Joseph Addai is a monster.
  • Tennessee: None; Although Vince Young might be a better running back than anyone on the Bears roster.
  • Jacksonville: 2; Maurice Jones-Drew has not played well in 2007, but I saw enough out of him last year to know that he’s better than Benson. And yes, I’m going to say I’d rather go to bat with Fred Taylor. Taylor is about as injury-prone as it gets, but when healthy, he might be one of the ten most talented and hard-working backs in the NFL.
  • Houston: None; No, Ahman Green is not better than Cedric Benson. Its close, though.
  • Cincinnati: 1; Rudi Johnson, no question, and Kenny Watson–if ever given an opportunity–could prove to be an adequate dual threat out of the backfield.
  • Cleveland: None; I am not a Jamal Lewis fan. Unless I can get the 2003 version.
  • Baltimore: 1; Willis McGahee is not a picture of health, but he’s clearly a better player than Cedric.
  • Pittsburgh: 1; Willie Parker, absolutely. And I’m tempted to add Najeh Davenport here, partly because he is a tough runner and partly because he once took a dump in a girl’s laundry basket.
  • New England: 1; I love Laurence Maroney, although he seems pretty injury-prone. Sammy Morris may be a solid back, but I’m not ready to say he’s a better option than Benson.
  • Miami: 1; Ronnie Brown’s resurgence this year has me flabbergasted.
  • NY Jets: None; This is interesting. I have to divulge that I agreed with the decision the Bears made in trading Jones and allowing Benson to be the number one guy. Jones, while hard-working and a leader, isn’t fast and doesn’t break enough tackles to be considered a better option than Benson.
  • Buffalo: 1; Marshawn Lynch has already proven to be what Benson should be, and he’s only been in the league for a month. Damn.
  • San Diego: 2; I’m not even going to argue about one of these; and yes, I think Michael Turner, while having never had more than 25 carries in an NFL game, has shown enough that I would want him to be the Bears running back in the last twelve games of the season.
  • Denver: 1; Travis Henry is better, although its hard to tell how good Bronco backs are because almost everyone can rush for 1200 yards there.
  • Kansas City: 1; LJ is better, no question.
  • Oakland: None; I’ll believe the Lamont Jordan renassiance when he carries the load for a full season with either sucking or blowing out a knee. Although I like the idea of Justin Fargas, Huggy Bear’s son, being an NFL star.

So there you have it. A total of 28 running backs in the league are better options than Cedric Benson. Six teams have two backs on their current roster who I would rather see taking the bulk of Bear carries for the remainder of 2007. And only nine squads have the same issues at running back as Chicago does. Of those nine teams, only Detroit, Green Bay, and Tennessee have winning records. Detroit won’t have one by the end of the year; the Packers and Titans have superhuman quarterbacks to even things out.

So there ya go. The answer is not actually Brian Griese, or someone else behind center; its the guy behind the guy.