Posted tagged ‘Chicago Bears’

And the Bears are Already 0-1

March 31, 2008

Roger_Goodell 

Roger Goodell announced the NFL’s first weekend will feature a Thursday night season opener between the World Champion New York Giants and their division rival, the Washington Redskins. There will also be Monday night matchups between the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings as well as the Denver Broncos and Oakland Raiders.

Oh, and the Sunday night game will feature the Bears going to Indianapolis to open the Colts’ new home field, Lucas Oil Stadium.

If I had to pick the worst situation for the Bears to open 2008, it might be this. Maybe opening at New England in its first meaningful game since last year’s Super Bowl loss would be worse. Hard to tell. But a matchup of one of the most powerful offenses going up against the Bears’ offense–with starting skill position players Rex Grossman, Cedric Benson, Marty Booker, and Brandon Lloyd–seems like a choice tailor-made for embarassment. Add in the emotion and excitement sure to be felt by the Colts……and this one is going to get real ugly, real quick.

Thanks, commish. Good to get that tone set early with a solid 52-0 drubbing.

BREAKING NEWS: Bears Continue to Astound With Its Receiving Corps

March 7, 2008

ESPN Radio 1000 here in Chicago is announcing that the Bears have locked up wide receiver Brandon Lloyd to a one-year deal.

Brandon_Lloyd

Despite having two more receptions than me in the NFL last season, Lloyd will enter training camp as the Bears number two receiver. A graduate of the college football powerhouse Illini, Lloyd had two ‘eh’ seasons in San Francisco before signing a deal with the Redskins before 2006. With the Hogs, Lloyd caught 25 balls for 379 yards and 0 touchdowns in two seasons.

Lloyd has shown the ability to make some ridiculous catches and has decent speed, so perhaps he realizes some of his potential in 2008 and has a decent campaign in a contract year. Or maybe he sucks. One thing is for certain…….Bears opponents are quaking in their boots at the thoughts of facing the aerial attack of Grossman/Orton to Booker/Lloyd/Hester/Bradley.

Someone get me a puke bucket.

Impressive move, Jerry

March 5, 2008

Marty Booker and Chris Chandler

I knew as soon as people started throwing Marty Booker’s name around that we would end up signing him. I don’t know how much money he’ll get for the two year start, but I’m assuming it will be less money than keeping Moose and I know its about 50 times less than what the Vikings offered Berrian. And for some reason, that doesn’t make me feel any better. We added another aging wide receiver who was the best on his team last year with 50 receptions for 556 yards and 1 TD. But that was with the Miami Dolphins. And after having a decent 2006 season with 55 receptions for 747 and 6 TD’s, that wasn’t much of an improvement. It was 5 fucking touchdowns and 2.5 ypc LESS.

The good thing to come out of this is that they are making great strides to improve an ever-aging offense line and bolster our running game, since, you know, we’re supposed to run off the bus and everything. God they better have the best draft day I’ve ever seen.

Marty Booker, Mark Bradley and Rashied Davis? “There’s a timeout……on the field” will be savior next year so that people don’t see me crying in my seat. And that ticket price increase better be for draft day and not for extra security to throw my drunk ass out of every game next year.

Another Plus: They retracted the offer that was on the table for Brendon Ayanbadejo.

(Anyone think the amazing Chris Chandler in the picture above if you were confused looks like a relative of Kyle Orton?)

Not Even Close

January 24, 2008

Adrian Peterson Rookie of the Year

I just voted for Diet Pepsi’s NFL Rookie of the Year 2007 and can I just say one thing: Landslide. I’m not saying that Patrick Willis, Marshawn Lynch, Dwayne Bowe, and Joe Thomas might not deserve the same award if this were any other year, but come on. Not only did he come in second in the league for total rushing yards and compile second-most rushing yards in Vikings history in his first year, but does anyone remember the Chicago game?

224 yards. 11.2 yds/carry. 3 TD’s. That burst for 73 yds and one of the TD’s. He was, as many before me have put it, a BEAST. And that was his fifth professional game, the first week back from bye. On the road. Now I know that Chicago’s defense wasn’t even close to what it was last year. But when’s the last time someone ran for 224 yds on them? I don’t know. Thats why I’m asking you.

Fast forward three weeks to the matchup of LT and AP and what happens? NFL-record setting 296 yds and 3 TD’s. LT had 40 yds rushing and 1 TD. Once again, the Whale’s Vagina D wasn’t what it has been in previous years, but they let a rookie do that. So obviously you know who my pick is.

Don’t get me wrong. I do know that Lynch was a beast with the most carries in the league for both the season (280) and most carries per game (21.5) and also led AFC rookies with 1,115 yds. Not too shabby. And Patrick Willis nearly tackled every single person in the NFL this year. 174 total tackles with 135 solo efforts. Everyone knows that he was another BEAST in that Tampa game and almost single-handly controlled the game, but did you also know his favorite color is fuchsia?

Fag.