Posted tagged ‘Jessica Simpson’

Daily White Sox Review

April 5, 2008

Jessica_Simpson_black

April 5: White Sox 5, Detroit 3

The Good: Gavin Floyd tossed 6 innings and allowed just three runs, two coming off a mistake to Brandon Inge. The White Sox showed good patience at the plate, working eight walks to combine with only three hits. The bullpen again looked great, as Boone Logan, Linebrink, and Jenks all worked scoreless innings. Perhaps most importantly, Carlos Quentin looked great both at the plate and in the field. Its going to be hard for Ozzie to get him out of the lineup when Jerry Owens comes back.

The Bad: Not much, except the Sox only had three hits. Inge, the Tigers’ ninth place hitter, had all three Tiger RBIs, so you would hope that the 9-hitter wouldn’t kill you. But thats really searching for bad; the Sox did a good job on the rest of the powerful Tiger lineup.

Final thought: I’m thrilled with the last three games, especially the bullpen work in the last two against Detroit. However, the Tigers are reeking of a team that is pressing right now. Plus, with Granderson and Sheffield out of the lineup and Cabrera banged up, I have a good feeling that while Tiger fans might be freaking out right now, this team will be fine soon.

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She Doesn’t Have Acne, Tony

January 29, 2008



This shit is getting just about as old as the band thats playing in the video, but I still find it to be comedy gold. The video is from a couple months ago, but Tony and Jessie Poo went to see Metalskool again last night in Hollywood, so there you go. Honestly, if Jessica Simpson’s creep of a father approached me about having relations with his daughter, I wouldn’t even think twice. Sex with her and her gorgeous body? Flying to Mexico on daddy’s bank role when I just landed a $67 million dollar contract? No problem.

It is funny how much controversy one stupid bitch can cause a team though. Tony took his team to 12-1 and then here comes Jessica and they can’t even pull out one win in the playoffs. And folks, it wasn’t because he went to Mexico with her. The girl is from Texas and she’s a damn Cowboys fan for Christ’s sake. And he used to date Carrie Underwood, too, so fuck him. The problem is that God doesn’t want one man to have that much fun.

Tony went to Eastern Illinois, goes undrafted, and then becomes the Dallas Cowboys starting QB and earns a ridiculous contract when he hasn’t even started two full years. Why should he get to bang Jessica, no matter how many musicians (or teammates) have plowed through her, and then go on to win a Superbowl in the same year? Just doesn’t seem right. Let him do that after the Patriot have had their glory season and he’s gotten his prescription for Valtrex filled.

Wait…you didn’t think she did those commercials because she really has acne that bad, do you? Hahaha you’re stupid.