Green Bay 31, San Diego 24–Brett Favre is playing like he’s ten years younger and the Packers are off to a 3-0 start. Down 21-17 with under five minutes left, the Packers drove down the field, setting up a 4th-and-inches from just outside the goal line. For some reason, they spread it out to a 5-receiver shotugn formation, and Favre’s pass was incomplete. But Brett took the Packers’ coaching staff off the hook with a great final two minutes, throwing a perfect slant to Greg Jennings which he took the distance to give the Pack the lead. Nick Barnett then picked off a pass on the ensuing Charger possession and returned it inside the San Diego five to set up the clinching score by Brandon Jackson. With the superb play of Favre and a tough defense, the Packers have proven themselves the team to beat in the NFC North so far.
Kansas City 13, Minnesota 10–I really don’t have much to say about this game. Adrian Peterson looks like the real deal. But until the Vikes get a passing game, they’re not going to score a lot of points. On the other side, Dwayne Bowe has been impressive in his first few NFL games, and he caught a game-winning touchdown pass with under ten minutes remaining.
New England 38, Buffalo 7–The Patriots continue their early dominance and Dick Jauron inches closer to unemployment. Randy Moss has five touchdowns in three games, and the Patriot defense, playing without standout safety Rodney Harrison, looks outstanding. Its very early, and a lot of things can happnen, but at this point New England is easily the best team in football.
NY Jets 31, Miami 28–A matchup of 0-2 teams netted a pretty high-scoring game, as the Jets held on to beat the fish. The score made it look closer than it actually was, as New York led 31-13 with 9 minutes left. The Dolphins outgained the Jets 424 to 259, but a Leon Washington 98 yard kick return was key to the New York win. Trent Green (318 yards) and Ronnie Brown (211 total yards, 3 TD) led Miami, but the inability to stop the Jets running game killed any chance for a road victory.
Philadelphia 56, Detroit 21–Racists everywhere ridiculed Donovan McNabb after this game for not scoring 60 points. In reality, McNabb threw for 381 yards–322 to Kevin Curtis and Brian Westbrook. The score was 42-21 at halftime, and seemingly over. The Lions defense will look to rebound next week against an atrocious Bears offense.
Pittsburgh 37, San Francisco 16–The Steelers look like a top 3 NFL team right now, as Willie Parker ran for 133 yards in the win. Pittsburgh has only given up 26 points in 3 games thus far, and Ben Roethlisberger is playing extremely well to this point. The Niners got nothing from Alex Smith or Frank Gore, and a little shine from their 2-0 start was taken away after this loss.
Tampa Bay 24, St. Louis 3–The Rams are in real trouble as they got spanked by the Bucs down in Florida. Marc Bulger had his worst game in a long time, throwing for under 120 yards. Steven Jackson went over 100 yards for the first time this year, but a lack of a passing game hurt the Lou. For the Bucs, Earnest Graham scored two times to lead a strong rushing attack which picked up 182 yards. Some dude named Ruud had 11 tackles and a pick for Tampa, and Jeff Garcia celebrated by watching ‘Steel Magnolias’ and having a good cry.
Baltimore 26, Arizona 23–The ravens continue to prove to be one of the worst good teams in NFL history. They always have quarterback issues, a somewhat solid running game, bad receivers and a good defense. They’re really boring to watch, yet they’re in the playoffs all the time. They’re like the AFC Chicago Bears. Anyway, Kurt Warner put down the clipboard and led the Cardinals back from a 23-6 defecit to tie the game, but a last second Matt Stover field goal won it for Baltimore.
Indianapolis 30, Houston 24–This is almost a moral victory for the Texans, who without their best player, Andre Johnson, played the defending champs very close but were unable to pull off the win at home. Peyton Manning had a ho-hum 20 for 29 day, throwing for 279 yards. But he only had one touchdown. What a scrub. Special shout out to Colts corner Marlin Jackson, who had 15 tackles. 15 tackles for a corner? Who was keeping the stats, Marlin’s momma? Anyway, the Texans look much improved but the Colts have to feel good at 3-0, including two road division wins.
Jacksonville 23, Denver 14–I’m beginning to think Mike Shanahan is a really overrated coach. Yes, he has two titles. But he also had the best quarterback, best running back, best offensive line, great receivers, perhaps the best tight end and an underrated defense on those teams. Remember, this dude traded Clinton Portis because anyone could be a star runner in his system, and he then drafted Maurice Clarett in the third round. Now, the Broncos are two last second field goals away from being 0-3. The Jags dominated time of possession by holding the ball for almost 39 minutes, beating Denver at their own game.
Oakland 26, Cleveland 24–So last week, the Broncos called a late timeout just before the Raiders attempted a game winner, making them try the same kick twice. On the second attempt, they missed the field goal and the Broncos went on to win. Sunday, the Browns lined up for a game winning field goal and made it, but the Raiders called timeout just before the kick, forcing the Browns to kick again. On their second attempt, the Raiders blocked it and held on for the win. (That make sense?). Anyway, look for whoever is playing the Browns next week to get the same crap pulled on them en route to a Cleveland late victory.
Seattle 24, Cincinnati 21–These are, like, the same team. Good offenses, soft defenses. But Seattle was at home, so they won by 3. Ya know how they say if two teams are even, the home field advatage is worth three points. Here you go. Look at this game, and the Jets-Miami game. And the Kansas City-Minnesota game. Anyway, Nate Burleson caught a late touchdown and the Seahawks are 2-1.
Carolina 27, Atlanta 20–Joey Harrington blew the fuck up, son. It didnt matter. Carolina continues to be consistently inconsistent, if that makes sense. Steve Smith gets one catch, yet they score 27 points. Whatever.
NY Giants 24, Washington 17–The Giants came back from a 17-3 defecit to win their first game of the year. Plaxico Burress made a spectacular catch and run to give New York their 7 point lead, which would eventually be the difference. But Joe Gibbs might be more of a difference maker in this game than Burress. With little time left, the Redskins faced a 3rd and goal on the Giants 2. Gibbs then took over the playcalling duties from offensive coordinator Al Saunders and called two running plays for Ladell Betts, both of which were stuffed to give the Giants the win. With a mobile quarterback like Jason Campbell, to not call at least one playaction or run/pass option play in those last two is just insane. I understand you’re Joe Gibbs and you run the ball, but a stretch play on the goalline is not the call to make down 7 on 4th down. On the bright side for Washington, Campbell looks like he’s really maturing into a solid NFL signal caller.
Dallas 34, Chicago 10–Holy Christ. 3-3 at halftime. 10-10 with 5 minutes left in the third quarter. From then on, it got real dirty. And not dirty in the Christina Aguilera, sexy slut kind of way. I mean ugly. I’ve been a Rex defender for the last year-plus; but he’s playing worse now that he did late last year and even in the Super Bowl. I think you have to make a change. But the real problem here is that changing the quarterback is not going to save this offense. The front line has been brutal for three games. Olin Kruetz has proven to be really overrated. Guys just run through him and he’s good for one personal foul a game, at least. Cedric Benson sucks. I was really wrong about this guy. I thought trading Thomas Jones was a solid move. Benson showed flashes of greatness last year and I thought he deserved a chance to carry the load, but so far this year, when he has gotten the touches, he’s looked shaky. He has also fumbled in key situations twice already this year. Bernard Berrian is dropping the ball. Muhsin Muhammed is the most overpaid player in the NFL. Seriously, he’s worthless. He gets open like 3 times a game, and out of those three times he drops the ball at least once. Ron Turner is having a horrid first three games. the Bears are down 20-10 last night with 10 minutes left. They need a nice, sustained drive which gets at least 3 points. You have a quarterback who has shaky confidence. Do you run the ball on first down? No. Do you throw a screen, hitch, or slant to give Rex the optimum chance of completing a pass? No. you run a two-receiver route, with one guy running a flag route twenty yards downfield. The guy is triple-covered, and it gets picked off and returned for a touchdown.
So, to recap, other than the quarterback, running back, wide receivers, playcalling and offensive line, the Bears offense is looking really good. The Cowboys offense, on the flip side, is beastly. Tony Romo is running around making plays, and John Madden says Romo reminds him of Favre. Since Favre might be retiring soon, Madden needs a quarterback who’s balls he’s gonna caress during every game. looks like the EIU product is the leader in the clubhouse. Marion barber is an absolute killer. He might be best running back not getting the majority of his team’s carries in NFL history. Seriously, he just trucks people. And TO was open all day, just manhandling the Bears secondary.
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